Why I've Been MIA

I spent November writing and finishing my first novel.

And tonight, I finished.

Three days early.

The Honest Blogger Award

The beautiful Caroline over at Secondhand Shopper actually gave me an award. Baffled, I am. I stalk her blog all the time (not a big commenter), so I’m super-psyched. I feel like I should give a speech. But I will refrain, and instead proceed to nominate my own picks for brilliant blogs.

The rules are as follows: When you receive the price you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in their content or design. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with “Honest Weblog.” Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional). List (if you can and/or dare) at least ten honest things about yourself. And then pass it on.

My seven:

Kasmira at What I Wore Today
Londyn at BlogFashion
Jane at Work That Wardrobe
Boutique Girl at Things a Boutique Owner Sees
La Bruja at La Bruja del Cuento
Sarah Dessen at her writer’s blog
Meghann at Thrifty Fashionista

Ten Honest Things About Me

1. To avoid looking into mirrors, I will walk into bathrooms backwards.

2. I am still surprised when sometimes I do look in the mirror and am not completely disgusted.

3. I hate working 9 to 5 and really am quite disappointed with myself that I have allowed it to come to this, and even more disappointed to find that I am quite good at what I do.

4. If it weren’t for my undying need for my parents’ approval, I would have married my boyfriend years ago and we would have already started a family.

5. Sometimes I just want to pack my bag, grab my dogs, and leave everything and everyone behind. I have a feeling a lot of people daydream about this, but I come pretty darn close to doing it about once a year.

6. I regret not traveling abroad during college. I sometimes resent my boyfriend for this but I know it’s not his fault. I have no one to blame but myself.

7. I stopped at a yard sale last weekend and the family was, to put it unkindly, typical white trash. I was only slightly dismayed to find that I was at my most comfortable talking to them. It seemed to be where I fit best. My mother would have a heartattack, seeing as how her whole family is a bunch of rednecks, and we moved 10 hours away to avoid the same fate. Some things are just there from birth, I suppose.

8. I suffer from people-phobia. I much prefer a quiet night at home with a good book, a good TV show, and my dogs, to a night out on the town.

9. I also suffer from severe anxiety. I worry so excessively about inane things like how I’m going to find parking when I go to work on Saturday, that I drive myself to tears. This is also why I am a blog stalker rather than a blog commenter, because after I comment, I fret for days about why I bothered to, figuratively speaking, open my big mouth.

10. I want to be a professional writer but I have a mental block – I have never been able to finish a book. Sometimes, I think I read to avoid writing. It’s easy to get great ideas or to admire someone else’s style. It is a completely different thing to do it yourself.

Cassidy

The Name Game

I lost weight! 1.2 pounds! I'm hoping this is a sign of good things to come, of my body finally relenting to my efforts. 1.2 pounds! I'm so psyched! I forgot how good it felt to go to a weighin and not leave pissed off and discouraged. YAY! If I could, I would sprinkle this feeling like fairy dust over everyone.

McCain and Obama, stop fighting, have some weightloss fairy dust happiness. Anyone else need some?

Name Game

1. Your rock star name (first pet, current car): Kelsey Tribute

2. Your gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe): Chocolate Orange Pumps

3. Your Native American name (favorite color, favorite animal): Red Dog (not entirely flattering, is it?)

4. Your soap opera name (your middle name, city where you were born): Lashbrooks Mishawaka (I don't think this has the effect they intended it to, considering the strangeness of both names)

5. Your Star Wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name): Casta

6. Superhero name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Black Cosmopolitan

7. NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers): William Noel

8.Dancer name (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Riviera Blue Whopper (don't think the irony of the fact that I'm fat and my last name would be Whopper is lost on me, hahaha!)

9.TV weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): Color Cincinnati

10.Spy name (your favorite season/holiday, flower): Winter Lily

11.Cartoon name (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Apple Topsiders (I don't think I'd watch this cartoon)

12.Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Bagel Dogwood (haha)

13.Movie star name (first pet, first street where you lived): Kelsey Efland (kinda like it!)

Cassidy

Ed

This is Ed (see last post) in his after-but-not-done-yet shot. Doesn't he look amazing compared to the bike picture? It can be done!

Last night, I had a close call with a deer. And by close, I mean I could see the features of his deer face charging at me. I had to go pick up bf at a shop on this little two-lane highway through the country. As I started driving I said, please God don't let me hit a deer. And no sooner had I said that then out of the corner of my eye, I saw this deer charging right at me, it's stupid blank eyes not seeing my car (a Mazda Tribute, fairly new, after a drunk driver totaled by ten-year-old Jeep in March). I braked (thinking, the slower I'm going, the lesser the damage) and braced myself for impact ... but miraculously, it ended up going behind me.

I need to start going to church.

Weightloss

Breakfast: elephant ear bread from the panaderia (I have no idea how many points this is but we'll go with my usual breakfast points) (7) and grapes (1) = 8

Lunch: Lean Pocket Mexican Fajita (7), apple (1), orange (1), granola bar (2) = 11

Dinner: Not sure yet but it's got to be something light considering I weigh in tomorrow. Maybe just a piece of bread (I effin love the elephant ear bread, irresistable).

My exercise for the day is going to be giving the apartment a serious scrub down. It's gotten to the point where I cringe just walking in. Dishes piled up in the sink. BF's hair stubble all over the bathroom counter. Dog hair lining the bedroom floor. Clean laundry crumpled up on the vanity waiting to be folded. Ugh. Blegh. Gah. And I am not even exaggerating.

Other News
BF and I are considering the M word - that's right, marriage. I'm not the kind of girl who has ever dreamed of a romantic proposal or a giant wedding, which I guess is good because BF is not exactly the get-down-on-one-knee kind of guy. A few years ago he gave me this cz ring in a real silver setting that I wear on a daily basis, but when people ask, I just tell them it's reserving a spot. So while I may not need the romance, I have become obsessed with wedding ring sets. I figure I'm saving him loads of money on a wedding, the least he can do is spend a couple (few) (several) hundred on some rings. Whenever we go anywhere, I drag him over to the jewelry cases and force him to tell me what he likes. Good boyfriend that he is, he likes whatever I tell him to :) .

So anyway, we're thinking about doing this in February, and then embarking on the journey to starting a family. It's crazy to think of myself as an adult. CRAZY! Is that a sign that I'm not ready? Or perhaps a sign that I need to move on in life and start this next phase. *sigh* Adulthood, here we come.

Cassidy

Biggest Loser (Thursday) Update

Tuesday's BL was cut short because of the debate, so they did the eliminations last night.

I have to tell you, I am so tired of Coleen being at the bottom. I know I bitch about this every week but that's because she seems to work so hard and she can't get out of the slump. But the elimination of Ed was kind of sad, too, considering that his wife, Heba, lost 8 pounds! In ONE WEEK! But Ed lost 0. Which put them below the yellow line and having to choose between themselves as to who stays and who goes. They decided to have Heba stay because she needs to lose weight to have kids, which I so understand (hence my own weightloss journey). But Ed's 'transformation' preview is awesome. He looks freakin' amazing.

I know I've been saying this for a long time, but I really need to get back into the groove. And I'm going to. Starting today. Not tomorrow, not Monday. TODAY. I've got to watch what I eat, write it all down, and exercise. And I am going to hold myself accountable right here, on this blog.

Weightloss (total daily points: 29)
Breakfast: Because I ate a big dinner last night, I was going to try to control myself this morning, and I did alright, but ended up eating my snack for later in the car on the drive to work. Oops. Apple (1), Chewy LF granola bars (4) = 5 points

Morning Snack: I eat lunch late (around 2:00), so I need something to tide me over. Light string cheese (1) = 1 point

Lunch: Lean Pocket garlic chicken pizza (7), high fiber cottage cheese (1), grapes (1), apple (1), orange (1) = 11 points

Exercise: Gotta go to the gym for BodyJam tonight. = +4 points (1 point per 100 calories)

Dinner: Don't know yet. I've got 12 points left if I don't "eat" my activity points. BF is probably going to eat at his mother's so I'll be on my own (which is always an adventure). I'll probably go with ... pork fajitas with whole wheat tortillas. I'll have to figure out the points at home, but I think it will come out to 8 if I remember correctly. And for dessert, two pecan cookies (delish and totally worth the 4 points). = 12 points.

Writing
I also want to write more again. Nanowrimo starts soon so I will jump on that bandwagon, also, in November.

I may be behind the times on this one, but I have just discovered books on tape at the library. My daily commute is about one hour (total, not one way), and radio and music, to be honest, kind of bores me. So I picked up Janet Evanovich's One for the Money. I have read the entire Stephanie Plum series, but considering it's been fourteen books since I read the first one, it's like discovering a new one. And there are voices to go along with it. Granted, the woman reading it sounds more like a fifty year old than a thirty year old firecracker from New Jersey, and her man voices (except for dad's) sound like teenage boys - but still, it's entertaining. I also picked up Sarah Dessen's The Truth About Forever, which I have also read before, but think it will be interesting to have read to me on my daily commutes.

Fashion
I picked up some black zip-up ankle boots with four-inch heels at Ross' for twenty bucks this past weekend. Today is my first day wearing them. I love them. The heel is thick so they don't leave divets on the floor (boss' pet peeve numero uno). And they don't seem to hurt. Yet. But let me not speak too soon. They're called Picasso by Madeline Stuart but I'm guessing they're out of season so they're not on the website.

Okay, time to get to work. I just heard the boss' car pull in. Hasta luego!

Cassidy

Late Biggest Loser Update

So last week, Jerry went home. It was nailbiting for me, to say the least, since it was between him and Coleen (his daughter) and I have, since day 1, been rooting for her. But it's frustrating because of all the contestants, I think he was in the worst shape and probably needed to be there the most. But he looks great (this is his after shot) and hopefully he keeps it up, not like the yellow loser guy last time who didn't even go to the reunion (but Kelly was awesome!).

So last night was only a one-hour show, tbc tonight, thanks to the presidential debate. I tried to watch it, really, I did, but I am a very non-confrontational person and with them taking jabs at each other in the first few minutes, I popped in my Grey's Anatomy DVD instead. Now that's heartwrenching stuff right there.

Until tomorrow, when we talk about who is not the biggest loser (I would totally kick brown off if it were me).

Cassidy

Biggest Loser Wednesday Review

The gray team got eliminated last night. I was super glad that Coleen didn't go home. Right now, she's my pick for winning. One of the other contestants even said, if she doesn't get eliminated, she's going to be the biggets loser. But then they didn't vote for her. Don't know what's going on there.

I did think that it was really rotten that Heba and her hubby (from NC, orange) didn't vote for the yellow team after the gray team's vote kept them there last week. Very disappointed in you, Heba. I am also severely annoyed by the brown team. First, they "schemed" not to win the challenge so that they don't appear to be threats. Then, the dude, Brady, totally bit Phillip's (red team) head off for no apparent reason while trying to decide who to eliminate. Even if I am being played by the producers, they're doing a good job of it.

The challenge this week was sliding down the hill and running back up it in a time limit (Coleen did awesome since she had to go every round since her dad is too sick to do it!). How easy is it to sit on the couch and go, "I could do that." That actually crossed my mind and then I bit my tongue, thinking, "Yeah, I could do it, but it would be really hard and it would kick my ass just like it's doing to all the contestants."

BTW: "Faint, puke or die" has become my new mantra. Very inspiring stuff here!

Cassidy

Ahoy!

Dress, Sag Harbor; Black belt, Sag Harbor; Cream peep toe flats, George; faux pearl jewelry, Wal-Mart and flea market.

I find this dress to be one of my more daring purchases because of the low waist and tiny belt, but I really love the classic lines (although I must admit, I cut out the shoulder pads).

As far as life goes, I'm having a bit of a pg scare as my monthly visitor, of whom I complained about vehemently last month, is about half a month late. I'm not obsessing about it because if I did, I think I'd drive myself nuts. Wouldn't that be ironic though? That as soon as I stopped wanting one, I got one. But it's probably just my funny cycle, and I guess I'll bite the bullet and test this weekend. But there's something nice about not knowing, yes? I get to live in this kind of "what if" fantasy world. The only bad thing in my fantasy world - having to tell my parents. I guess they raised me right...

Cassidy

Wednesday Biggest Loser Review

So the green team was the first to bite the dust on Biggest Loser last night. I really liked them, but I was glad the orange team stayed, if only for the selfish reason that they're fellow North Carolinians. And because Heba, the orange girl, is heavy and I really want to see what she can do. And I want her to see what she can do.

But the green team was nice, and they looked great in the after-show afters.

I'm trying to pick my favorites, but it's hard. I keep gravitating towards the pink team if only because Ali won last year and was a pink. But I also really like the yellow team because Coleen won the first challenge - she really pushed it and beat everyone, which is great, and she's there with her dad. I'm a bonafide daddy's girl and I'm trying to get my own dad to lose weight with me.

But I'm so thrilled to have this show back. It's a huge motivator. After watching it, I felt like I should go run around the block. But it was 10:00 at night and I was super tired, so I just went to sleep. Hmm. Anyway. My new favorite quote from Jillian is: "Unless you faint, puke, or die, keep walking." I can apply that to me in so many ways: working out, working in general, writing. Just keep doing it.

And hopefully there will be no fainting, puking, or dying.

Cassidy

Hasta la Vista

UNC Class of 2007 T-shirt; leggings, Wal-Mart; sunnies, Fossil; shoes (not pictured), Nike (on sale at Kohl's).

Since I'm not wearing anything of interest today (or this week, for that matter), I thought I'd grace you with a lovely picture of my gym duds (sans shoes) from last night in honor of the long-awaited premiere of Biggest Loser: Families. I am super-psyched.

In other news, I started the part-time cashier thing on Saturday and was miserable. The manager only showed up in the morning and kind of showed me how to work the register and then left. I am the kind of person that likes to be shown stuff. I wanted him to show me, not tell me. Some people learn by listening, some by doing. I learn by example. No matter! He left me for the whole day (thank GOD bf's sister was there or I would have curled up into a fetal position underneath the counter, no doubt) with promises that he'd come back at 5:00 to show me how to cash out. He came back at about 5:40 and was seriously hammered. Within a couple of feet of him, I could smell beer. And so he was counting out the cash and came up about $15 short. When I pointed out that he didn't count the change and that he should let me doublecheck since it's my reputation on the line, he said no and told me I could go home. I left feeling like a chastized dog. Not how one wants to feel after your first day on the job.

Because I'm not a quitter, I'm going to give it another go this weekend, but if it still sucks, well, adios amigos.

Cassidy

An Un-Love Letter

Dear Boyfriend,

We need to clear something up, in case there was ever any misunderstanding - there is NOT a house-cleaning, laundry-doing, dish-washing, vacuuming, toilet-cleaning fairy. If there were one, who do you think it would be? That's right, Me. Your mother may be glad to slave over a hot stove for her one and only son and then faithfully pick up and clean the dishes, then pick up your clothes off of the dining room table because you were too lazy to take five more steps to the bedroom, then wipe your hair bits out of the sink, and then take out the trash that has been fermenting outside the front door for TWO DAYS waiting for you to pick it up and drop it into the dumpster on the other side of the building. Like I said - not your mother. I DO this stuff, but I am not GLAD to do it. In fact, I do it only because if I did not do it, we would be living in what my father calls a "pig sty."

This would not bother me so much if I was not working and you were. But as it is, this week is raining, which means you get free time. Lots of it. I have not had free time since my vacation in June. I work 7:30-6:00. I come home and clean up after you, and what is left? Certainly not time. You worked 8-12. Then went to lunch with your buddies. Then pissed around on the internet for who knows how long. Then went to your mother's house because you were too lazy to cook for yourself. Then came home half an hour after me and pissed around on the computer some more WHILE I SCRUBBED THE BATHROOM.

The moral of the story is this: Get off your lazy ass and help me. Yes, you are cute, and yes, I do love you, but I did not sign up to have a twenty-something year old son. If you have any questions or concerns, please keep them to yourself, because I am too busy to deal with it.

Love,
Cassidy

The Naked Skirt

Black button-up sleeveless top, Wal-Mart; belt and skirt, thrifted; gold and pink almost-flats, Payless; neckless, Guess (thrifted).

This skirt is a very lightweight cotton and is shorter than I am typically okay with. But it's super comfortable. In a moment of fear before I walked out the door, I did end up throwing on black cropped leggings.

Those of you who are SATC fanatics may recognize in my title the reference to Carrie's naked dress. Disclaimer: I am in no way attempting to compare myself or this cheap little skirt to SJP or SATC. And worship the show though I do, I have yet to see the movie. The flea market guys are already offering up a hot DVD of it, but I am waiting out for the real thing, at which time I will gladly curl up on my couch with some health-conscious pop corn and, yes, a cosmopolitan.

In other news -

Weightloss

I am pretty sure it's that special time of the month, because my weight shot up inexplicably. I am trying to talk myself into sucking it up and going to weighin this weekend anyway, but I do believe I will declare myself chicken shit and not go.

Working

I got a very, very parttime job working as a cashier at a Mexican joint downtown - very hip (the place, not the job). I am only doing Saturdays from 10-6, and only then because I get to work with bf's sister. Truth is, I haven't even gone in the restaurant since maybe sophomore year, and even then, I really didn't like the food. So - we will see. My first day is this weekend, hopefully I can remember where the front door is.

Writing

I am proud of myself for having buckled down this week. I'm going to try to go for quantity, not quality (kind of the theory behind NaNoWriMo) and just get something done.

Cassidy

Poor Lighting

Top, Cato (thrifted); belt, H&M (thrifted); trousers, Ross; black pumps, Isaac Mizrahi (Target); earrings, Target.

In spite of the bad lighting and my unfortunate after-work hair and make-up, I am posting this outfit because I really liked it. I'm new to the world of having-a-waist so it's always exciting to remember that I can use it. Also, I made a small attempt at pattern mixing. The top has white polka dots (as do the earrings) and the belt is black and white checks. I just thought it was fun.

I never particularly thought of myself as a tall person, but apparently I am, because all pants are super short on me. I look like I'm preparing for a flood, which would have been more appropriate this past weekend when we got a good downpour from tropical storm Hanna.

Weightloss

I fell off of the bandwagon - and rolled around for a while - but am finally trying to hitch a ride back on. I'm still lingering at the 50-55 pounds lost mark, but I hope to say goodbye to it - and sixty pounds - this month.

Writing

I don't know how it is that people actually finish writing a novel. I am so intimidated by the thought that I can't even fathom it. But I find that by working diligently, I am making more and more progress. A couple of pages a day and eventually it will be over, right?

So here's to writing, eating well, and not falling asleep at work.

Cassidy

Puppy Love

So for a "fashion and weightloss" blogger, I find myself to be quite the failure. Again, yet another post that has to do with neither topics, but rather with my animals, for whom I am feeling particularly affectionate today. Introductions? Yes. The light brown lady on the very left is my Ruby, flyball dog extraordinaire. Beside her is my Bear, swimming champion. Behind them is my brother's girl Marley, frisbee dog with a curly-q tail like no other. The wiry animal is Ziggy, a boxerdoodle (I kid you not). Finally, the giant lab is Jake, who has recently lost forty pounds (see his little tiny waist!). The last two both belong to my parents, although perhaps mostly to my mother, since my dad, after the death of our last dog, declared himself happy to be an empty-nester and didn't want anything to take care of except himself and some coy in his pond. Now, of course, they have my brother's dog and the two on the right, and a cat who won't leave them alone.

Why do I love my dogs? Let me count the ways:
1) They are smart enough to hide under the bed when bf and I get into a major row;
2) They are brave enough to poke their heads out and come comfort me (only after I've thrown bf's keys against the door jam, shattering his car's remote into a million itty bitty pieces);
3) They are always excited and willing to get into the car with me and go wherever I take them - no fuss, just happy butts;
4) I don't have to convince them to spend time with me;
5) Even if I smack them around or yell at them, they're always first to say they're sorry (in their own doggy way with a happily beating tail and hot breath);
6) They are first to jump into the front seat as we stalk bf or ex-bf, as the mood strikes;
7) They do not judge me for stalking either one;
8) They do not call me a crazy bitch for thinking that bf is cheating on me or that I should have stayed with ex-bf, who ultimately used me and stole from me (but things always look brighter when something else looks dim, yes?);
9) It's like it says in Shiloh: "Funny thing is, you’ve got yourself a dog, you sometimes feel like you don’t need anyone else. Nobody else loves you as much as a dog. Except your ma, maybe."

They really do help to take the sting out of things and put other things into perspective. And they don't even know it. All they're doing is being natural.

If only everything were that easy.

Cassidy

Meme (en espanol)

I stole this meme from La Bruja. Check her out, she's gorgeous.

14 cosas que me hacen feliz

1) Jugar con mis dos perros, o salir con ellos, especialmente cuando se tratan bien;
2) Escribir otra pagina de una de mis historias, porque eso se me trae una pagina mas cerca al fin;
3) Encontrar un hermoso vestido o camisa por muy poco dinero y de un tamaño más pequeño;
4) Ir a visitar a mi familia;
5) Leer un buen libro - no tiene que ser dificil, para nada, mejor que sea chistoso;
6) Cenar con mis amigas, porque cuando voy mucho tiempo sin ellas, se me olvida que es reirme hasta que me duele la pansita;
7) Salir con el novio, aunque sea solo por ir a cargar gas en su camioneta, solo me encanta pasar tiempo bueno con el;
8) Ir a la cita de WeightWatchers cada sabado y escuchar las historias de las senoras que tambien estan sufriendo y perseverando como yo;
9) Una noche fria abajo de una colcha con mi novio;
10) Pasar tiempo con mis cuñadas, porque ya me siento que somos familia;
11) Llegar a la casa y encontrar que mi novio ya esta alli esperandome con la puerta abierta y la casa limpia (eso es muy raro, te digo);
12) El olor del perfume del novio;
13) Llevar a mi perro Bear a nadar en un lago en la madrugada cuando se me hace que somos los unicos despierto en todo la ciudad, y verlo todo feliz estar suelto;
14) Imaginar mi vida en el futuro.

¿Que era de tu vida?

....Hace 20 años..... Era una niña celosa con un nuevo hermanito.
....Hace 10 años..... Estaba en el 8th año de la escuela con mi primer novio. Luego, cuando nos rompimos, se fue gritando feliz que ya estaba libre. Pendejo era porque ahora esta casado con unos niños y yo soy la que esta libre. Jaja!
....Hace 5 años..... Estaba empezando el nuevo capitulo de mi vida en la universidad, encontrando mi libertad y mi lugar en ese mundo que todavia estoy buscando hoy.
....Hace 1 año..... Me graduaba de la universidad y encontre ese trabajo que tengo hoy como asistente de abogado.
.....Ayer..... Comi cena yo solita mientras que la comida de mi novio se enfriaba esperandole. Y sabes donde estaba? Con su mama, aunque sabia que la comida era lista. Eso es lo que pasa cuando sales con un hijo de mami. (Estoy todavia enojada.)
.....Hoy..... Trabajando, como siempre, y buscandome tiempo que puedo robar para escribir.

Ahora le nomino a todos quien lee ese blog (aunque creo que soy la unica!).

Cassidy

Bring Head to Desk...

and Bang Repeatedly.

I need a new job, a new body, and a new attitude.

Worked my butt of last week *literally* and only lost .6 of a pound. I know - oh that's great, better than gaining. But truly - considering it only took me six months to lose fifty pounds and has now taken me three months to lose five pounds, it's kind of unfair.

But c'est la vie. We shall persevere.

I am also hunting for new employment. One that's closer to home (within bus-riding distance) and that has benefits. Not to say this job doesn't have benefits - cute clients and the ability to blog-while-allegedly-working, but I mean benefits like health insurance and a 401k.

I would also like a job where contact with people can be limited. Especially Brazilian people who speak to me in Spanugese and get offended when I don't understand anything but "voce" and "hoje" and only then because I took a couple years of Portugese in college. Gah!

* * *

Completely unrelated - I feel like a twat and I can't put my finger on why. I went to the BodyPump class at the gym last night and the instructor is this supercute hair stylist lady. Now, when I go to the gym, I go alone, and I do not go to make friends. So I don't really talk to anyone. At the beginning of class, she was talking about keeping the 'belly in' for back support while lifting and she said, "But it's hard for us pregnant people to keep the belly in!" Now, this is the first I've heard of her being pregnant, and considering that I am now developing a huge case of baby fever, I was thrilled for her. So after class I was walking by her and on a whim that is completely unlike me, I congratulated her.

Only later did I start to think - do pregnant women want to be congratulated? I should have just continued to mind my own business and hid in the corner. At least next Monday is Labor Day so she won't be there, but the irony of it being LABOR day is not lost on me.

Until next time!

Cassidy

Too Much Information

Let me preface this by saying that I love my dogs. Granted, I want to strangle them on a daily basis - but generally, I love them very much. But this morning, I woke up to find that they had stolen the rest of the pizza off of the counter and had a feast last night. But this is not the worst. Earlier this week, I came home to find that they had eaten - scratch that - completely DEVOURED - a puzzle that I had been working on. I kid you not - there were not even remains. These are adult dogs. Adult dogs that are well-fed, housetrained, and loved. Who can understand? Not I.

Consequentially, I have been in a fairly poor mood lately - and thus, my wardrobe has suffered. Today is better than yesterday, but still nothing to blog about. I will, however, blog about my weightloss efforts, or lack thereof. In short - I had Golden Corral for lunch yesterday. Really - who can go to a buffet and eat just one plate? Especially a buffet like Golden Corral. Mmm. Regardless, bad decisions have their consequences, and I have gained two pounds since yesterday. Question - does this happen to normal/skinny people? Do they gain and lose significant amounts of weight in one day? Or is this just a fat person/dieting person thing? Will I suffer with this the rest of my life? (I can answer that one.) I did go to the gym to try to make up for it, so perhaps I would have otherwise gained three pounds. It's the little things, right?

Also weightloss related but perhaps entirely too much information - I am sick and tired of my period. Let me back up some. Last year, when I had health insurance and could go to the doctor and was 55+ pounds heavier, my doctor told me that I probably had PCOS and would not be able to have children unless I lost weight. So I started losing weight in December and in February had my first natural cycle in years (no joke). I was elated - I felt like a woman! I was in tune with nature and with my body! I was cramping and I loved it. But now, after seven consecutive months of this, the thrill has worn off. I'm tired of my skin breaking out for two weeks every month, I'm tired of the cramps and back pain and bloating and weight gain. But of course, now I don't have health insurance and cannot possibly afford birth control pills to make it all go away. One can only be thankful for something like this for so long.

So as not to end on that note, let's change the subject, shall we?

I am an aspiring writer - always have been. No really. Before I could read I would make up my own stories to go with picture books (Peter Pan was one of my favorites). Of course, when I graduated from college with my BA in English Literature, I thought, the whole world is waiting for me. Then I couldn't get a job. ANYWHERE. So I ended up working as a paralegal in a city two towns over from where I actually live. So writing has taken a back seat to actually earning money and surviving. This is terribly upsetting to me. So my new resolution for this week is to write everyday. And not one or two sentences - but to actually make headway on novels that I started years ago, back in my Young Adult Lit classes. Even if I have to make that time during the day when I'm supposed to be otherwise occupied by my job. My job now is to take care of me and my dreams, or they will never become a reality.

Talk about inspiring, yes?

Cassidy

Time to Go Shopping

Top, Banana Republic; Jean capris, Mossimo; flower flats, Xhileration; blue ring, flea market; beads, thrifted.

This is the first summer since I was a child that I have dared to go bare-armed. This is, of course, fully accredited to the fact that I have lost enough weight to put me at my high school weight (yes, I was this big in high school). But I really love this shirt and the detailing at the neck. I also have a new obsession with wrap-around beads like these. Before the day is over, I'll probably have changed the number of wraps more times than I can count.

And these shoes! They're amazingly comfortable and because of the flower print, you can really pair them with anything.

I just want to clear something up, just in case anyone actually reads this blog. I never claimed to be fashionable. I have only a vague idea as far as trends go (I believe ballet flats, bows and ruffles, and nautical were this summer, yes? And lots of tartan coming in the fall?). I own clothes that are years and years old (example - the capris jeans pictured here). I'm really just a creature of comfort trying to step out of my rut of t-shirts and jeans and ponytails (a problem which I have eliminated with my haircut). That said...

I weighed in today and found myself back at the same place I was at two weeks ago. I'm not going to get discouraged. I mean, I lost 50 pounds in six months, right? It only stands to reason that I would hit a roadbump. I just didn't realize the roadbump would mean 2 months to lose five pounds. Argh.

I went to workout right after weighing in. I did two hours at the gym - first a BodyPump class followed immediately by a BodyJam class. And then I got home and weighed myself and I was 1.5 pounds lighter than I had been at WI. Oh, the injustice (even if it is just water weight).

Cassidy

Great Outfit, Crappy Photo

Top, Torrid; Blue cami, Old Navy; Jean Skirt, Old Navy; Flip Flops, Sears; Orange necklace and matching earrings, flea market; turqoise ring, ?.

I really loved my outfit today - I felt glamorous and womanly, which is great since it's this top's inaugural wearing. I tried to take my picture in the morning, but the batteries died and I was already super late. And when I got home, bf was breathing down my neck. And this is what he took. He couldn't even get his lazy butt off the bed to take it.

I think I will stick to mirror photos if it's all the same to him.

As far as eating goes - I took my friend from work to lunch today for her birthday. We went to Toast, just down the street from my office, where we indulged in pita chips and delicious paninis. Then we had some paletas for dessert, which I probably should have avoided altogether. But didn't.

I did, however, go to the gym all by myself and turn down an invitation to future MIL's boyfriend's going away party. He's going to Mexico until next Spring. Which means MIL is going to be all up in our business. *Sigh* That's what happens when you shack up with a momma's boy.

Until tomorrow,

Cassidy

Casual ... Thursday?

T-shirt, Faded Glory; Jeans, Levi Strauss; Shoes, Sperry Topsiders; necklace and matching earrings, flea market; golden bangles, Wal-Mart; headband, Wal-Mart.

Casual Friday came a day early for me this week. The attorney was supposed to be out of the office all day, so I donned this outfit. Of course, she showed up, so I spent a good part of my morning hiding in my office and trying to avoid walking to the printer at all costs. Otherwise it was Mission: Impossible all the way.

As far as the whole WeightWatchers/diet thing goes, another attorney was given a gift basket from Southern Season. It was mostly cheeses and crackers which I have no problem avoiding, but then I spied - the butterfly cookies (as seen on the left). So I scarfed down entirely too many and then had a fabulous burrito from Guajillos for lunch. But, I hope I made up for my indiscretions at the gym, where I did one hour of BodyJam and then 30 minutes of the bike. My work-out partner, also known as my future SIL, couldn't come today due to a sick child, so my motivation level was slightly down, which is why I find myself sitting at home in front of the computer rather than working out.

C'est la vie. Until tomorrow,

Cassidy

It Is Easy Being Green

Top, Banana Republic sale; Pants, NY & CO; faux snakeskin pumps, Payless; green headband, Wal-Mart.

To know why I'm doing this, you have to know where I'm coming from - or more importantly, how far I've come. In December 2007, when I realized that I did in fact want children someday and that in my state I physically wouldn't be able to, I embarked on a weightloss journey. Since then, I have reduced my weight by 55 pounds - and while I am nowhere close to completing my journey yet, it is important for me to remember that I can look good doing it.

This look yesterday was a real turning point for me. I bought these pants two or more years ago and never fit into them. When I say never, I mean, they didn't come up past my thighs. They were my "hope" pants, and now they fit me.

My new source of "hope" comes from the fact that bf has promised me a trip to Disney World once I'm down 30 more pounds. Time to whip it into shape!

Cassidy

P.S. I hate to do this to you, but here is a before picture, taken in May, 2007, so you can truly understand. I think this picture can best be summed up by the gun that appears to be pointing at my head and my face that reads, "Hurry up and put me out of my misery..."